Subliminal Messaging

Utterly arbitrary. Wish that it weren't.

Because I cost $3805 a night.

See How Much You’re Really Worth!

Natural Hair Color:
(X] Brown - $100
[ ] Blonde - $50
[ ] Black - $15
[ ] Bald - $5
[ ] Other-$75

Total: $100

Eye Color:
[ ] Brown - $50
[ ] Green - $75
[ ] Blue $150
[ ] Hazel $100
[X] Other - $15

Total so far: $115

Height:
[ ] Over 7′ - $200
[ ] 6′8″ to 7′ - $175
[ ] 6′0″ to 6′7″ - $150
[ ] 5′5″ to 5′11″ - $75
[ ] 5′4″ to 5′10″ - $85
[X] Under 5′4 - $95

Total so far: $210

Age:
[ ] 50 to 56 - $175
[ ] 46 to 50 - $150
[ ] 41 to 45 - $125
[ ] 31 to 40 - $100
[ ] 26 to 30 - $75
[ ] 21 to 25 - $50
[X] 19 to 20 - $25
[ ] 0 to 18 - $100

Total so far: $235

Birth Order:
[ ] Twins or more than twins - $750
[X] First Born - $320
[X] Only Child - $250
[ ] second born - $150
[ ] Middle child - $100
[ ] Last Born - $100
[ ] third born - $550
[ ] fourth born - $300
[ ] fifth born - $400
[ ] sixth born -$215

Total so far: $805

Drink?
[ ] I did like once - $400
[ ] Only Holidays - $250
[ ] Sometimes - $215
[X] YES - $200
[ ] only weekends - $300
[ ] Every other day - $50
[ ] Once a day - $15
[ ] I live from the bottle - $Bankrupt$ [[back to $ZERO]]
[ ] No - $600

Total so far: $1005

Vision?
[X] perfect vision $400
[ ] need or have glasses/ contacts but dont wear them $200
[ ] No correction $100
[ ] Glasses $50
[ ] contacts $25
[ ] Surgical correction -$100

Total so far: $1405

Shoe Size:
[ ] 13+ - $300
[ ] 12 and a half to 13 - $250
[ ] 11 to 12 - $400
[x] 7 to 10 - $500
[ ] Under 7- $450

Total so far: $1905

Favorite Colors (two):
[ ] Green-$750
[X] Red - $600
[ ] Black - $100
[ ] Yellow -$475
[ ] Brown - $300
[ ] Purple - $225
[ ] White - $400
[ ] Aqua - $350
[ ] Orange - $300
[X] Blue - $300
[ ] Pink - $100
[ ] Other - $500

Total: $2805

Did you use a calculator to add it all up?
[ ] Yes $0
[x] Nope-add $1000
[ ] some- $750

Final Total: $3805

REPOST WITH TITLE:
“I cost $ — a night”

Agggggh that was a saved draft from a year ago. I wrote it one night when on aforementioned drug, and had some obvious qualms about posting it. I recently tried to delete it and apparently posted it instead. For those of you who've been hip to my issues with the drug, be assured that I have left my dope-fiendery far and happily behind me. Promise promise.

Admit it.

I Live: in a white, sunny apartment that's just a bit too untidy.

I Work: all the fucking time.

I Talk: partly in an English accent, partly as a party of the Yankee scum I am, with a growing tinge of Boston twang.

I Wish: I had my cuddly (aka Mihai) here now so's I could stops worryings.

I Enjoy: long after-hours walks, love/sex/champagne/respect, books and the blues

I Look: a nervous wreck

I Find: myself guilty/paranoid in each and every personal trial

I Smell: Jasmine. Miscellaneous, delicious jasmine.

I Hide: supposedly "big" things.

I Pray: without thinking.

I Walk: fast.

I Write: much less than I should.

I See: not much at the mo, this computer screen and the seep of the glaring sun.

I Sing: apparently, well enough to go to Vienna and sing opera.

I Can: chill out for a bit, eh?

I Watch: Dog the Bounty Hunter when I'm the only one awake over at Mihai's house and sometimes my neighbor obsessively tending his garden.

I Yearn: for a cuddling! I smell like my loverman and it's really not fair. I want to be here, there, wherever, in his cuddlesome arms. Shall I shut up now? I shall.

I Daydream: all the fucking time.

I Want: a kiss.

I Cry: as a method of catharsis.

I Read: less than I want to.

I Love: people, some bookstores (ahem!), some books and some music.

I Sometimes: laugh hysterically.

I Touch: myself. When I stalk your mom. Deep, deep, deep in the deep dark night. Dan Gale Rosen.

I Hurt: a bountiful amount right now.

I Fear: loneliness and fatness and rejection.

I Hope: life will work out okay.

I Break: everything. I'm a deconstructionist by nature. I can't seem to help but deconstruct every object and idea I encounter. In plain English, Derrida, we call that destructiveness.

I Eat: too much or too little, depending on how much I eat.

I Quit: never. Even when I really, really should.

I Bathe: very rarely; I shower slightly more.

I Drink: less now, really!

I Stop: long after I should.

I Save: text obsessively when I type it. I'm glad of this.

I Hug: gingerly.

I am in: my room and a stupor.

I Play: dress up, the way that Geeger does-it's so much fun! And some dirty games. And my vocal chords.

I Miss: work shifts sometimes, at my second job, well really only once, but that was because I am just going insane.

I Hold: onto things without reason.

I Forgive: readily and rarely, really.

I Drive: people away. BOOGA BOOGA BOOGA!

I Learn: quickly if necessary but forget just as fast

I Have: chapped lips and a vague, unnerving bellyache.

I Don't: like pork.

I Made: a few messes in my time.

I Kiss: French beauties who straddle me on wet lawns in the nighttime in white dresses and kiss me first.

I Believe: too man things, or maybe too few? I'm a little bit pig-headed; a little.

I Wait: with strain.

I Need: a vacation.

I Feel: exhausted and somewhat ill.

I Know: too little or too much.

I Wonder: bread. No I don't. No no no not really.

I Am: sleepy as gargantuan man-eating bosoms who haven't slept in about seven hundred years. Who really need sleep, that is.

I tag: Everyone.

THIRTEEN RANDOM THINGS YOU LIKE
1: wine
2: the smell of leather
3: books
4: (in general) my coworkers
5: my housemates
6: Harry Potter
7: eating lollipops in the rain
8: Mihai's lips
9: the idea of journeying north
10: the idea of Portland, OR
11: the thought of Berlin
12: being bitten on my neck
13: Old Bay seasoning and raspberries (I thought of these simeltaneously and couldn't decide. They would doubtless taste excellent together.)

TWELVE MOVIES
1: Red
2: Blue
3: The Miskatonic Acid Test
4: The Barbarian Invasions
5: The Decline of the America Empire
6: Le Diner des Cons (sp?)
7: Rowing with the Wind
8: Dawn of the Dead
9: Shawn of the Dead
10: Hot Fuzz
11: The Fellowship of the Ring
12: Labyrinth

ELEVEN GOOD BANDS/ARTISTS
1: Motley Crue
2: Guns N'Roses
3: Pink Floyd
4: Queen
5: The Incredible String Band
6: Siouxsie and the Banshees
7: Howlin' Wolf
8: The Beatles
9: Dire Straits
10: The Grateful Dead
11: Lynyrd Skynrd

TEN THINGS ABOUT YOU
1: I'm very fond of smoked salmon with goat cheese
2: I loved Lolita (the novel - I haven't seen the movie.)
3: I've been a drug addict and it really sucks-don't do it!
4: I have short, wild hair.
5: I live with three other women.
6: I'm pretty bad with money.
7: I'm fairly nomadic-at any given time I have two functional pads and sets of housemates. As regards #5, ergo, one could say that I alternately live with 5 men.
8: I'm dating a Romanian-Swiss-Canadian immigrant who speaks five languages, and have been for around two years.
9: I try, rather meekly, to write stories and poetry.
10: I apparently drove away a coworker who took a strong fancy to me because he feared I would incite him to betray his girlfriend of four years.

NINE PEOPLE YOU TALKED TO YESTERDAY
1: Mihai
2: Mike Fatum
3: Barbara Fatum
4: Mrs. Fantone
5: Shannon
6: Rachel
7: Trevor
8: Peter
9:Tracy (our newfound neighbor)

EIGHT FAVORITE FOODS
1: smoked salmon
2: apples
3: Humbolt Fog
4: gorgonzola
5: spinach
6: sushi (Spicy Shrimp and Green Dragon Roll in particular)
7: pineapple
8: macaroni and cheese

SEVEN THINGS YOU WORE TODAY
1: deodorant
2: jeans
3: Mihai's jeans
4: Mihai's T-shirt
5: my stripey button-down T-shirt
6: my short red and black slip
7: a bra

SIX THINGS THAT ANNOY YOU
1: the heat
2: passive aggression
3: selfishness
4: squalor
5: anxiety attacks
6: whining


FIVE THINGS YOU TOUCH EVERY DAY
1: my body
2: my hair
3: my nose ring
4. cigarettes
5: a cellphone

FOUR TV SHOWS YOU WATCH REGULARLY
1: Dog the Bounty Hunter
2: Metalocalypse
3: South Park
4: Blackadder

THREE FAVORITE ACTORS/ACTRESSES
1: Michael Palin
2: Alan Rickman
3: Bill Nighey (sp?)

TWO MOST RECENT PEOPLE YOUVE KISSED
1: Mihai
2: Geeger (We're talking just a hello-peck-on-the-cheek, of course.)

ONE PERSON YOU COULD SPEND YOUR LIFE WITH
1: Hell, I dunno. Mihai? Maybe? I can't properly answer this question.

M and I are through. Officially.

All of my stuff is on the floor.

And here's how I'D score it:


If a Movie were Made of Your Life, What Would the Soundtrack Be?

Here's how it works:
1. Open your music player (iTunes, Winamp, Media Player, etc).
2. Put it on shuffle.
3. Put one title for each line.

Opening Credits: "Little Plastic Castles" - Ani DiFranco

Waking Up: "Paradise City" - Guns N'Roses

Falling in Love: "As Is" - Ani DiFranco

Fight scene: "You Don't Care About Us" - Placebo

Breaking up: "As Cool As I Am" - Dar Williams

Getting back together: "Gravel" - Ani DiFranco

Secret Love: "Lucky Little Shark" - Mirah, "Expresso Love" - Dire Straits (I put two here because both apply. If you know who to...shut up!)

Life's okay: "Me N'Bobby McGee" - Janis Joplin

Mental breakdown: "Runaway" - Bon Jovi

Driving Flashback: "Enjoy the Silence" - Depeche Mode

Partying: "Little Wing" - Jimi Hendrix

Happy Dance: "Cliffs of Dover" - Eric Johnson

Regretting: "On Every Street" - Dire Straits

Long night alone: "Barcelona" - Jewel

Final Battle: "Train in Vain" - The Clash (wouldn't that be awesome)

Death scene: "Hey You" - Pink Floyd

End credits: "Sweet Jane" - The Velvet Underground

Current Music: THE FINAL BATTLE!!

I entered these in order of when they came up in shuffle.



If a Movie were Made of Your Life, What Would the Soundtrack Be?

Here's how it works:
1. Open your music player (iTunes, Winamp, Media Player, etc).
2. Put it on shuffle.
3. Put one title for each line.

Opening Credits: "When the Saints Go Marching In" - Tony Sheridan and The Beatles

Waking Up: "Without You I'm Nothing" - Placebo (how depressing)

Falling in Love: "We Live For Love" - Pat Benatar

Fight scene: "Hit Me With Your Best Shot" - Pat Benatar (taken rather literally?)

Breaking up: "San Francisco Bay Blues" - Eric Clapton (...what?)

Getting back together: "Walkin' Blues" - Eric Clapton (ok fine)

Secret Love: "Komm Gib Mir Deine Hand" - The Beatles

Life's okay: "Think Locally, Fuck Globally" - Gogol Bordello

Mental breakdown: "Sylvan Song" - Heart (probably the most serene song on earth!)

Driving Flashback: "Take a Chance On Me" -ABBA

Partying: "After All" - Dar Williams (chill party)

Happy Dance: "As Is" - Ani DiFranco (ok, resignedly happy)

Regretting: "Kiss the Girl" - Disney Techno (!?!?!??!??!??!)

Long night alone: "One Day" - Bjork

Final Battle: "Mother Tongues" - Attractive

Death scene: "Spert" - Tosca

End credits: "Bad Boy" - The Beatles

Mongrel CBGB last night. Home today at 5:30 am. Went to work at 10. AGHHH!

And in other talk:

Current Mood: SCHLEEPY!!
Current Music: Operator- The Grateful Dead

Well summer is hot. The job has been okay...Bruni's seems to harbor a fondness for mistreating its new employees. Consequently for every mistake, great and small, that is made during these first few weeks of my employment I am held solely accountable. Whether or not I did it. Which I often haven't.

I miss Boston-Ipswich is a mire of dullness and nothinghood. I miss Canada terrifically as well, and the space in between, and I simply cannot wait to go and visit C. in Maryland or my New York/Jersey friends in the Big Apple or to journey to Montreal in August with Mihai and Emily and Derek and finally meet Pierre and the city intimately and at leisure.

Apart from that, looking for a second job (anyone know of somewhere?) and bumming around, reading about the Arctic and occasionally writing seems to be my agendum of the week. I had an okay weekend...went into Boston on Thursday night with Brittni and visited a lesbian club...Mihai in incidental tow. Then spent the next couple of days celebrating the six-month with the lover (he bought me champagne, chocolate, Chinese food, and The Fifth Element?:P) Had coffee with new writer friend Phillip on Friday and finally discussed much work!:)...headed back to David's place to watch he and Mihai finish poker games, drink his booze, and exchange favorite poems with him from his big crumpled American Anthology of You-Know-What. Also watched match today. Italy won. Stupid Italy.

Oh, and GOT a MATTRESS! It's comfy....and vast. :D

Saw some of P and P tonight with D and B. HAOKT.

Hope to have a picnic or possibly go to town tomorrow. Don't know quite which yet. Probably the former as I've already made plans to do so. Could really, really use that second job, however.

Your Aura is Violet

Idealistic and thoughtful, you have the mind and ideas to change the world. And you have the charisma of a great leader, even if you don't always use it! The purpose of your life: saying truths that other people dare not say Famous purples include: Mahatma Gandhi, Martin Luther King, Jr., Susan B. Anthony Careers for you to try: Political Activist, Inventor, Life Coach

Current Music: it should really be Gogol Bordello

oh ha ha and I tag:

myownuniverse, silverholly8, geeger, fairychild86, and lucedes

It's just another long fucking night.

1) X what is true about you.
2) Double the star on what you wish was true about you.
3) Add one true thing about you to the end of the list.
4) Tag five LJ friends.

( hah Juliette is slicing me in the nice places )

does anyone have in their possession the song "enjoy the silence," by depeche mode?

my affinity for it has transformed into deep love.

So in the past few weeks or so...

Not much has happened. Well actually alot has. Mihai and I went to Europe, got drunk, stoned, and eventually went broke. Befriended a judge, partied with French cops, got spied on by hostel staff, crashed on the French Riviera, inspected the madness at Cannes, bathed in the Mediterranean, gambled in the Casino of Monte Carlo, won twenty euro! Went to Italy on purpose, Slovakia by accident. Saw Naples, God, and all things in between (that is, EVERYTHING). Got robbed by cop and civilian alike in Italy. Ate pizza and drank mineral water. Partied with Austrians, Britons, goths of all nations, and absinthe. Went to the Prater, sat on clowns. And if you want more stories, do ask me in person. It would be better.

Just one riddle to leave you with: What do the gardens of Versailles and alot of train station bathrooms have in common?

Goodnight friends

back from Europe. Awesome.

and now Eliza hates sleeping alone.

nothing is going where it seemed to head and I'm going crazy

and now we're leaving.

oh man.

I was just addressed as Madame Bovary. The beautiful adulteress.

I wonder if the boy knew how true that was.